Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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