i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
