i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
