hotel room ftw
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
