turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
