Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
