WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
