One girl and one boy is just not enough.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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