I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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