If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you didnt know i had herpes?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
