Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
