I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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