Grow some girl-balls and come out already
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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