ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
