yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
