Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
