oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
