you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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