moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
