I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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