The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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