Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
