If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
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