dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
