i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm at about main and main street
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
