i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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