Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
