did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
