it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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