I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
