Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
