people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
