He disabled his match.com account in front of me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
