I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
