I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
