Midget sex pt 2 tonight
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just high enough for therapy.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
