wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
