Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
