For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
