Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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