Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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