Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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