One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
How does it feel to date your dad?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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