He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
