i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
