PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
