i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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