I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
two words...techno handjob
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
