..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
