its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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