ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
