He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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