girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
