I accidentally had phone sex last night
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
